Matsumoto's Good Deed
by sophiaexile
Summary: In which Matsumoto seeks to play matchmaker to get her taicho laid.


Disclaimer: I do not own any for the works mentioned or characters used therein. They are the property of the author and as of such, I do not seek to profit by their property, or to gain acclaim from them.

Author's Note: This was co-written with a good friend of mine, so I would like to give her credit. So let's give a round of applause for reiya00!

Matsumoto's Good Deed

All was quiet in the Gotei 13. Most of the taichos and fukutaichos were asleep as it was 2'oclock in the morning in Seretei. However, one of the division's headquarters still had lights on. It was the 10th division. Hitsugaya Toshiro was infamous for his late night attempts at paperwork. He sat at his desk drowning in it. The piles of reports, requests, forms, charts and everything else under the sun were never-ending. Hitsugaya tiredly rubbed his eyes. He wasn't even halfway through yet. Then the door to his office slammed open.

"Taicho!" In burst Matsumoto Rangiku, Hitsugaya's fukutaicho. Her strawberry blonde hair bounced along with her humongous breasts as she danced around the room. Hitsugaya still did not understand how she could walk upright. "Matsumoto, as you can see I am very busy." He tried to stay calm, but something about Matsumoto always got to him. She had the ability to get under his skin with little to no effort. She now bent over the desk giving him an eyeful of her ample cleavage.

"Taicho! Why are you still here? It is late. You should be having fun." Hitsugaya sighed with exasperation. Her words were slurred and she reeked of sake. She was clearly drunk off her ass.

"Unlike some people I know, I actually do my work," he snapped.

"Work? But it is 2'clock in the morning. This is no time for work," she exclaimed. With these words she somehow managed to pull herself onto the desk. She sat down right in the middle of his paperwork.

"Matsumoto!"

"Ne, Taicho, have you gotten laid yet?"

"WHAT!?"

She beamed at him as she leaned forward. "You know, shagged, the horizontal tango, banged, fucked, screwed. That sort of thing."

Hitsugaya gapped like a fish. No sound came from his lips. "I… I… Matsumoto! I am your superior! You are not supposed to ask me these kind of things. It is late, you are drunk. GET OUT!"

A gleam of inspiration came into Matsumoto's eye. "You know Taicho, I could show you a good time," she said with a smile.

"WHAT?!"

Matsumoto got off the desk and swayed her hips seductively. "Come on. You can't tell me you haven't contemplated it. "

She thrust her breasts in his face. "Go on. Give them a lick. They won't bite."

Hitsugaya looked directly at Matsumoto's large breasts and then pushed her away. "No thanks. I prefer to keep things out of the office."

Matsumoto pouted and then whined, "Come on. Just a little squeeze? Pwease!"

She gave him the puppy dog eyes and stuck out her lower lip. Usually when Matsumoto did this Hitsugaya just gave her whatever she wanted so she would stop. Not this time. "No. I'm not interested."

Matsumoto paused in thought. A bright smile lit up her face. "You don't like big women. You like them small. Say, Hinamori?"

At the mention of Hinamori's name Hitsugaya's face turned as red as a cherry. Matsumoto uttered an exclamation of delight and pointed her finger at her taicho. "You do! You like Hinamori-chan!" "I… I…" Matsumoto let out a squeal of delight. "Yatta! Now how do I get you two together?"

Hitsugaya paled at the thought of Matsumoto acting as matchmaker. "No! I do not need your help. Go home and go to bed!"

Another gleam came into Matsumoto's eye. "Taicho, how big are you?"

"WHAT?!"

"Your dick, your cock, you prick, your manhood. That. What size is it?"

Hitsugaya stuttered in utter astonishment. "That is none of your concern," he squeaked.

"I'm only asking out of concern for Momo. She is so tiny. You could break her in half if you are too big. I mean, come on, she can't be more than 5'0" and a size 0. And she has got to be an A cup. I mean I can see why you like her. The brown hair and big brown eyes. The cutesy voice." Matsumoto grinned wickedly and started to imitate Hinamori Momo. "Oh Toshiro! You are so big. And so strong. Take me now!"

Hitsugaya nearly fainted from shock. And another little problem. He was starting to get hard thinking about Momo.

"Would you like to tie up Momo-chan? Put her in handcuffs?"

Hitsugaya got a nosebleed. "You would! Well aren't you lucky Taicho." With that Matsumoto reached into her cleavage and pulled out a pair of standard issue handcuffs. Hitsugaya fell out of his chair.

"Taicho are you okay?" Hitsugaya staggered to his feet. Matsumoto pondered the handcuffs for a second.

"Now I remember why I have these! Aizen gave them to me. Man is he a kinky bastard. He was into the whole slave and master thing. I wonder if he actually had Momo-chan."

"MATSUMOTO! That is enough!" At that exact moment a small gasp could be heard. Both Hitsugaya and Matsumoto turned to look. There stood Hinamori Momo in the doorway.

Matsumoto made a beeline for Hinamori. "Momo-chan! We were just talking about you. You see Taicho has a thing for you. Do you have one for him?"

"Ano…" Matsumoto eagerly pressed on.

"Well do you? Come on you can tell me. It will be just between us girls. Come on. Whisper it into my ear. I can keep a secret."

"MATSUMOTO! GET OUT!"

Matsumoto pouted. "Fine! See if I care that you are stuck with a hard-on. I was trying to help." Making one last ditch effort she pushed Hinamori towards Hitsugaya. "Have fun you two!"

The two stood in silence. Toshiro was the first to speak. "Ah, she was drunk. Pay no mind to her. She was clearly out of her mind."

Momo let out a small sigh. Hitsugaya frowned. "Is something wrong Momo?"

Momo took a deep breath and leaned in kissing Hitsugaya. "Momo," whispered a stunned Hitsugaya.

"Shh! Don't talk. Just enjoy the moment." The two started to kiss. It soon became a full make-out session. As clothes started to fly Matsumoto could be heard cackling softly in the background. She turned away from the crack in the door and started to stagger away.

"My good deed of the day has been accomplished. Now to find Aizen."


End file.
